Soiling The Ministerial Nappies

It is a long known fact, that we are a nation of wussies, when it comes to our own children. On one hand, we pamper them so much, that they are hardly ever allowed to play outside, on the other hand, where infamous for being terribly afraid of them.

Our home secretary Theresa May has just added one to the latter. In a a consultation document for the current Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill, currently before parliament, the Home Office proposes nurseries and childcarers have a duty “to prevent people being drawn into terrorism”.

Yes, you read right. The document proposes to make it a legal requirement for childcare providers and nurseries to file reports on the toddlers in their care, on wether or not they might become a terrorist threat in their future life.

How the government will predict the grownup life of a three year old, is beyond me. Conservative MP David Davis called the idea havy-handed. I think outragous and ridiculous are better terms.

The government now, after everyone else is already under constant surveillance, spy on toddlers. Well, I did hear the German term Windelbomber, which litterally means nappy bomber, once. But it was explaind to me that this term does not refer to a toddler with a nappy full of C4, but it’s an ironic term for an estate car, that families prefer to drive their children around in. Maybe someone should clarify this with Theresa May,

But I don’t believe that the Home Office is actually looking for 3 year old terrorists. They know that children aren’t radicals. Children at a young age have no view of the world, they only see the here and now. They decide wether they like you or not, on what you do, not based on the colour of your skin, or the deities you’re worshipping. As Richard Dawkins famously said:

There are no religious children. Just children of religous parents.

And here’s the point: The home office is not interested in the children, they want to use the children to get to their parents. This way, they can use the trust that childcarers build to their charge, to spy on the parents. This is, in my opinon, abuse, because it betrays the natural trust of a child to turn their own words against their mum and dad. That is something I would expect from a totalitarian regime, not from a civilised democracy.

As a matter of fact, at the height of the cold war, which brings me back to the homeland of the Windelbomber, in Eastern Germany children in primary school were asked, to draw a clock. A simple one, like the one on TV. The children, who drew a simple clock with dots for the 3, 6, 9 and 12 were awarded points, while those who drew lines, got their parents a free visit from the Staatssicherheit, because that meant they had been watching Western German TV, which was prohibited.

I know, I know. Be careful with any comparisons to Nazis or communisim, but hey, it’s hard not to see the pattern here.