In A Dark Mirror

Ten

As the days went by, the girls developed a routine in documenting their daily abuse. Every night, after they said their evening prayer, they would meet in the lavatory, and take pictures of their bruises. Usually, they were not supervised by one of the sisters, so smuggling the camera-phone into the room would be possible, and they could document the injuries on the younger girls as well. Aileen and Aislin were complying readily, although they didn’t know what the overall plan was. Mary-Jade however, made as much a scene when Heather tried to photograph her, that she nearly blew the entire operation, because Sister Claire would come in, asking what on earth this noise was all about.

Heather insisted on sparing the girl, although Aifric wasn’t happy about that. Mary-Jade was the one of them who received the least abuse from Agatha, which was in part for Heather’s fierce protection, and in part for Mary-Jade’s religious devotion, which pleased the old nun. However, Aifric was sure that the young girl bore more misery and trauma than all of them combined. Aifric was convinced that painstakingly documenting these traumata, was paramount to their mission, so she insisted of filming the girl’s tantrum, but Heather stopped her.

They nearly got into a fight over this, but Aifric gave in, because she new, that it was impossible to change Heather’s point of view when it came to Mary-Jade. Her will to protect the girl from any harm was stronger than Aifric’s reasoning. Aifric was packing some of her school stuff in into her locker, when Heather entered.

“Are you OK?” She heard the older girl ask.

“I guess.” She answered. “Why?”

“I was pretty hard on you the other day. You know, when we took the pictures.”

Aifric turned around. “I’m good. We’re good, if that’s what you ask. I still think it would send a strong message, but maybe you’re right. We should not disregard Mary-Jade’s privacy. Even if it is for the greater good.”

“So no hard feelings?” Heather slowly tiptoed closer to her girlfriend.

Aifric smiled. “No hard feelings. As if I could be angry with you for long.”

Heather grinned. “That’s a relief.”

She closed the distance between them and looked deep into Aifric’s eyes. Aifric felt that warmth she had always felt, when Heather was close. A feeling of being alive. It ran through her body and kicked a swarm of butterflies into action in her stomach. Heather’s hand was running over her face, and she leaned forward into the kiss.

Aifric had no idea how long the kiss lasted, but when they separated, she saw Mercedes standing in the doorway, with the widest grin she could possibly manage. Startled, Aifric drew back. She felt the blood rush to her cheeks.

“Um, we were just…”

“Snogging.” Mercedes grinned. “Don’t let me interrupt you. Just don’t be late for dinner!”

Heather started laughing. “Yes, let’s go feast! Come dine with me, my love!”

She curtseyed in a melodramatic way, before taking Aifric’s hand and leading her to the stairway.

When they reached the dining hall, Heathers playfulness evaporated at once. Not only was sister Immaculata sitting there, like she always did, sucking the life out of the place and anyone who dared to enter, but also something was wrong. The whole room was not right, although Aifric couldn’t put a finger on it.

Not until Heather pointed out the obvious: “Where’s Mary-Jade?”

Mary-Jade had been absent from dinner sometimes before, usually when she was doing her bible studies with Father Geoff. She always claimed that these studies were helping her to get a grip to life, although she seemed even more brooding and monosyllabic than usual, if that was even possible. Although she didn’t exactly knew why, when Mary-Jade attended her bible studies Heather always felt extremely nervous. This feeling passed on to Aifric and to everyone else.

After saying their grace everyone ate their dinner in silence, even Mercedes seemed to be quieter than usual. After dinner, in the chapel, Heather prayed for real.

“Holy St. Mary, Mother of God”, she whispered. “Bring Mary-Jade safely back to us.”

Aifric repeated the line, mostly because she thought it would never be wrong to pray for someones safe return, but she didn’t grasp why Heather was so tense.

Later on they were lying on Heather’s bed together, when Aifric asked: “Heather, what’s wrong?”

“Hm?”

“You’re so…nervous.”

“I’m sorry.” Heather replied. “I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“It’s because of Mary-Jade not being here?” Aifric wanted to know. “You’re always like this when she is doing her bible studies.”

Heather turned towards her friend. “I don’t know. I think there is something going on here. I know, she says how much she likes the time with Father Geoff, but when I look into her eyes, I see how scared she is. Something terrible is going on here although I cannot say what it is. It’s just a bad feeling, I can’t explain.”

Aifric put a hand on her friends shoulder. “It’s OK. I just think you like to have her around, you know. I know how much she means to you.”

“I promised to protect her.” Heather whispered.

“And you do!” Aifric reassured her friend.

It turned out these words would haunt both of them the next morning. Heather woke to the voice of the old penguin from below. She looked around. Sister Agatha seemed to be in the yard, yelling at someone. She didn’t understand the words, but she new something was underway. Alarmed, she hopped out of bed, and made her way to the door.

“Heather?” Aifric’s sleepy voice followed her, but she didn’t turn around. In the hall, she bumped into Mercedes, who was just on her way upstairs.

“Heather! Heather!” She cried. “You need to come! Please!”

“What’s wrong?” Heather asked.

“It’s Mary-Jade!” Mercedes could hardly talk. “She’s on the roof! I think she’s going to jump!”

At these words, Heather turned back, and headed for the roof access. The small ladder that led upstairs was down, and she climbed it hastily. She could hear the blood rush in her ears, and her heart beat frantically. She hit her head on a crossbeam on the way to the tiny window, but didn’t even slow down. One more step, and she sat on the window sill, legs on the roof. Mary-Jade was balancing a few feet away on the rim. Some of the tiles were loose, and she could fall any moment. She seemed calm.

“Jade, Darling!” Heather called her. “Come back in, please!”

Mary-Jade turned her head. “Go away,” she said quietly. There was an unusual hostility in her voice.

“Please!” Heather begged. Part of her wanted to jump forward and grab the girl, but fear the that the younger girl would step forward held her in place.

“Go away!” Mary-Jade’s voice now rose to a scream.

“Come back inside!” Heather begged, “Whatever it is, I help you get through it. Please!”

The girl took a step towards the edge.

“I told you, I will protect you!” Heather’s voice broke. “I’m always there for you!”

“Liar!” Mary-Jade screamed. “You didn’t protect me! You just left me! Everyone always leaves me!”

“Tell me what’s going on. Has anyone hurt you? Just tell me!” Heather’s eyes were blind with tears now.

“I trusted you!” Mary-Jade cried. “I thought you were my friend!”

“I am your friend!” Heather’s voice broke with desperation. “I love you!”

Hearing this, Mary-Jade anger seemed to chill a little, and Heather hoped she might change her mind.

“I know.” The younger girl said quietly. “Best friends…”

Heather reached out her hand and answered “…forever.”

Then, Mary-Jade took a step forward and disappeared over the edge. A second later Heather heard the sickening crunch of the girl’s body crashing on the concrete below.

For a moment the horror was so intense, she couldn’t breathe. She saw stars, and a sick feeling build up in her stomach. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening. Except, it was.

Heather pulled herself back through the window. Tears blurred her vision, and rage exploded in her chest. Faster and faster she first walked than ran downstairs. Later she would not be able to remember how she got to the main hall, but she remembered clearly, how she approached Sister Agatha. Aifric came in from outside, behind the penguin, and looked terribly pale. But she ignored her friend. The old penguin was bellowing commands, and hurried towards her office.

Heather blocked her way.

“Heather Whelan,” the old penguin began. “don’t you dare…”.

Her words were cut by Heather’s fist, that crushed into her face. Heather was a good fighter, but right now, she was out of her mind, and only pounding the nun with her fists, screaming “Murderer!” and “You killed her!” at the top of her lungs. It was Aifric who pulled her away.

It took a few seconds for Agatha to pull herself together after the attack, but she was surprisingly quick. Aifric tried to hold the still ravaging Heather, who had now collapsed on the floor.

“I see you two in my office tonight.” Agatha snarled. “Until then: Into your room!”

Back in the dorm, Heather found that Sister Immaculata had not only escorted them back to their dormitory, but also locked the door behind them, and Heather knew she was in serious trouble. Attacking Agatha openly would not be tolerated. But somehow Heather didn’t care. All she could think of, was Mary-Jade’s tiny body, smashed on the concrete.

She screamed again, and kicked the door, but it was no use. Aifric put her arms around her from behind, and her burning rage cooled a little. She turned to face her friend, and looked into Aifric’s face, which was white as chalk, her eyes open in shock. It was like looking into a mirror, and seeing her own feelings in the reflection. Heather vaguely remembered, that Aifric had ran downstairs, when she turned to make her way onto the roof.

The girl probably saw Mary-Jade fall. A deep black hole inside her opened up and swallowed everything around her. Her hot rage evaporated into the cold, and the darkness engulfed her. In the middle of that darkness sat Aifric, half naked and in shock. The blackness shut out everything but the searing pain and Aifric’s desperate face. She grabbed her friends arm and calmly led her to the bed. Heather’s fingers felt numb, and the intense sense of unreality overwhelmed her. They laid down together and Heather pulled the blanket over their heads. Aifric curled up in her arms and Heather tried to keep the pain away by concentrating on her slow breathing.

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