In A Dark Mirror

Six

Heather sighed when she entered the dining hall. Her worries for Aifric had been growing. The poor girl had been coming in and out of a state of stupor during the last couple of days, and the sisters with their prayers and strict rules weren’t exactly helping.

She looked at her hands, while she sat down on the table. Those bruises where the sister’s answer to her request to bring Aifric to a hospital. Heather had no idea what it was that Aifric needed now, but she sure wouldn’t get it from Agatha and her lot. Heather had insisted that Aifric should be brought to a hospital, first with Sister Claire, then with Agatha. That’s when she got the cane.

“It’s not your place to speak!” Agatha had explained. “And not on you to worry about that girl!”

But worry, she did. Aifric’s vulnerability had triggered Heather’s instincts. But, although Heather hadn’t been willing to admit that to herself, there was something more about Aifric. The way her hair glinted in the sunlight. The gaze of those enormous brown eyes. And the way Heather’s heart missed a beat, on the rare occasions when the hint of a smile appeared on Aifric’s lips. She tried to shrug off her worries, and concentrated on her meal. But her mind always wandered back to the pale skinny girl in the infirmary.

“How is Aifric?” Mary-Jade brought her mind back to the table. “Have you seen her?”

“She’s getting better. She stopped crying, and today she spoke to me.”

Although Heather wasn’t quite sure if Aifric wasn’t just so exhausted, that she was beyond tears.

Mary-Jade nodded. She never asked why Aifric had collapsed. She knew better than anyone how quick you could topple over the edge of sanity.

Instead she asked: “Will she come back to us tomorrow?”

Heather wasn’t sure Mary-Jade talked about Aifric showing up in the dining hall, or her mental state.

“I don’t know, sweetie.” It was the right answer to both questions.

But Heather was sure, that the sister’s would not tolerate Aifric’s miserable state for much longer, and she would be forced to get up and resume her daily chores, whether she was ready or not. Maybe it was for the best, keeping her mind away from her sorrows.

“You like her very much.” It was a statement, not a question.

Mary-Jade always observed people very carefully, and probably she knew more about what was going on between Heather and Aifric than Heather herself.

“Guess so.” Heather confirmed. When Mary-Jade smiled at her knowingly, she added: “I don’t know how this is any of your business though!”

For the rest of the meal, she changed the subject to the poor taste of the stew.

The days came and went, and Aifric was moved to her bed in the dorm again. She was also assigned her usual duties, like cleaning up and kitchen work, and she showed up for class. She was however, much to Heathers disappointment, excused from the meals. After dinner Heather went to the chapel, where she found Aifric quite often. Aifric stayed longer than was mandatory, but Heather knew she wasn’t praying.

She usually knelt behind Aifric, and talked to her. Some days she got an answer, and some days she didn’t. Tonight Aifric had a good day.

“Missed you today!” Heather said.

Aifric turned her head. “How was dinner?”

“Tasteless. As usual.” Heather grinned. “Mercedes is missing you. She’s alone on her side of the table, and she has no one to talk their ear off.”

Heather offered a roll, she had stolen from the dinner table, to Aifric. “Here, you need to eat something!”

“I’m not hungry.” Aifric waved away Heather’s hand.

“I know, but eat it anyway.”

Aifric had been skinny ever since Heather had met her. But these days she was only skin and bones, and had become so frail, that Heather always worried, she might not be able to get up. Something in Heather’s voice made Aifric take the roll and she slowly began to eat it.

“Good girl!” Heather praised her.

“Your fault, if I throw it all up again!” Aifric warned her.

“Do you plan to?” Heather tried to sound indifferent.

“No, but that what happens, when the sisters try to feed me stew.”

“Obviously. But that’s the stew, not you!” Heather joked.

Not that that was so far from the truth. Meals in this place were meagre, and most days they consisted of stew and some bread. More often than not, it didn’t even have meat. So it wasn’t advisable to miss a meal here, and Aifric had missed plenty.

“If it stays down, I’ll see you at the breakfast table first thing in the morning.” Heather commanded.

Then she helped Aifric up, and led her to the dorm.

Aifric did appear for breakfast the next morning, mostly because Heather did not leave her side until she had eaten. Most of the time she slipped part of her own meal onto Aifric’s plate. This routine went on for days, and slowly Aifric was regaining strength.

One night Heather was sneaking up the stairs from the dorm to the roof. When the sisters had gone to bed, she sometimes got up there to have a smoke. She usually managed to nick a packet of fags when they were sent to do some shopping, and Heather always felt a little triumph when she got away with it. Smoking them was her secret celebration of victory.

She went through the hall, just to see that the ladder was already down. Someone was on the roof! She carefully looked up, but couldn’t see anyone through the opening. Breathlessly she sneaked upwards, trying to make as little noise as possible. When she lifted her head through the opening, she carefully looked around the attic. It was empty, but the window was open. The slender frame of the girl sitting on the window sill, was unmistakably Aifric’s. The younger girl had already noticed her, and turned her head.

“Hi,” Heather said. “Didn’t realize you got out of bed.”

“I can be sneaky too, you know?”

Heather walked to the open window and sat on the sill beside her friend.

“Guess I’m a bad influcence then.” Heather took a cigarette from her packet and lit it. Then she offered it to Aifric.

“No thanks!” Aifric looked disgusted. Heather shrugged, and inhaled the smoke deeply. She held her breath for a couple of seconds, and then breathed out again.

“You come here often?” Aifric asked.

“Only place you can have a smoke around here without being bugged.”

“Am I bugging you?” Aifric looked at her friend cautiously.

“Nah,” Heather put an arm around Aifric’s shoulders. “You are most welcome anytime, sweetie!”

They sat silent for a while, and looked over the surrounding landscape. The night was moonlit and warm, and the girls could see the trees and hills in the distance. Heather silently smoked. She spoke again, when she had finished her cigarette.

“If it wasn’t such a fucking prison, this place would almost be beautiful.” She sighed.

Then she cocked her head. “Wanna be a bad girl?”

Aifric held up her hands in defence. “I’m not going to smoke your fags!”

“Rubbish!” Heather said. “There is a pond over there, behind the trees. We could climb the garden wall, head over and go skinny dipping.”

“You’re mad!” Aifric cried.

“I’ve done it many times!” Heather seemed quite serious. “We can’t use the front door of cause, but we can climb down the rain pipe; its mounting is just like a ladder!”

Heather stuffed the stub of her fag into her pocket, after clearing it of ash, and climbed out the window. Aifric nearly saw her falling, but it was only one step to the edge, and Heather had made it. Before Aifric could react, she was half way down the pipe, only her head was still visible over the edge of the roof.

“Are you coming, or what?” Heather said impatiently.

Aifric got up, and carefully climbed out the window. Getting to the edge of the roof was the tricky part, once she had a foothold on the rain pipe’s mount, it was indeed as easy has Heather had claimed. They both got to the ground safely, and ran towards the wall. The back wall of the garden was not as high as the fence marking the front, but still too high to reach, at least for Aifric. But the wall was overgrown with vines, and Heather took one of the thicker ones, and climbed the wall effortlessly. For Aifric it was a tougher to get up there, because the wasn’t in a very good shape. She got up high enough to reach the edge, but couldn’t pull herself up. Heather placed one foot under a vine to get a better hold, and pulled Aifric up the rest of the way.

“I’m sorry.” Aifric said breathlessly. “I used to be better at this.”

Heather shook her head. “Girl, you weigh less than a paper bag. No wonder you can’t climb for a few feet!”

“Are you going to tell me to eat more?” Aifric felt a little offended.

“Do I have to?” Heather gave her a stern look, then turned on the small edge, sat down, and slid down the wall towards the ground.

Aifric followed her; this part was a lot easier. She fell into soft grass.

“You’re alright?” Heather helped Aifric up.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

The truth was, that Aifric’s heart was pounding like a hammer, and she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. She was scared, but also excited.

“Follow me!”

Heather led her through the grass towards a group of trees. When the moon came out again from behind some clouds, Aifric could see the glint of moonlight on water from behind the trees. When they reached the pond, Heather led her towards a breach in the trees, where the grass grew right up to the embankment.

“Isn’t this a cool spot?” Heather beamed. Aifric looked around. The warm July breeze rustled in the leaves, and the moonlight coated the scenery with silver light. So little had she seen of the place she was living now.

“Beautiful.” She breathed.

“The last one in the water is a snail!” Heather began undressing.

“You’re really gonna get in there?” Aifric looked in astonishment as her friend removed her clothes.

“Sure, sweetie! It’s what we came for, eh?” Heather turned around and waved at Aifric encouragingly.

“I don’t have a bathing suit, and not even a towel!” Aifric defended herself.

Heather got rid of her underwear, and ran into the water. For a second she was gone, but then she surfaced again, splashing. “Come one, Virgin Mary! It’s not that anyone is here to see you!”

Aifric reluctantly began to undress, still unsure, whether this was a good idea.

“Oh, right” Heather mocked from the water. “I forgot, our Mother Supreme converted you into Maria-Magdalena! Get in, the water is fantastic, Magdalena!”

That did the trick. “My name is Aifric!” Aifric shot back.

“Prove it!” Heather laughed.

Aifric dropped the rest of her clothes, and jumped after her, trying to spray Heather’s face with water.

Later, after they’ve gotten out of the water, they lay in the grass, waiting for the summer breeze to dry their skin and their hair and Aifric looked at the stars. She had never noticed before how many there were. As she shivered when the wind chilled her bare skin, and Heather gently put an arm around her, to keep her warm. The skin-on-skin was awkward, but it felt good. Comforting. Alive. The excitement was still pumping through her veins, and she realized, that this was the first time in months she felt alive again.

She turned her head towards Heather. “Thank you.” She said.

“Thanks for what?” Heather seemed confused.

“For taking me here. It was wonderful.”

“You’re welcome.” Heather smiled at her.

They watched the stars for a while, until it was time to gather their clothes, and return to their beds.

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